Hey, It's Jade!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Convicted Myself About School (and I'm a little crazy)...

So, yesterday someone on one of the facebook homeschool groups I participate in posted something about feeling like a bad mom because she's disorganized and doesn't have a homeschool area for her kids.  I immediately jumped in and encouraged her that homeschooling is not about having a classroom, or even a designated area, that you set up to work in.  You school in your home, or in the car, or at the park, etc.  I said some other stuff, too.  I hope that my comments helped her to realize that her homeschool doesn't have to look like those pinterest-perfect homeschool rooms we drool over with awesome desks, shelves of bookshelves and organizing bins, supplies all neatly arranged.  Even if it didn't, it convicted me, that's for sure.  Oh my gosh, y'all, I drool over those dang magazine-looking homeschool rooms I see.  Such jealousy, you have no idea.

I have been struggling with not starting school yet, saying that we would start once we were settled into our new home.  Well, here we are... no where near ready to move.  We had that buyer who backed out, and we've had several offers that were unacceptably low... our house has been on the market over 95 days now (but, um.. who's counting?) and we aren't even going out to look at homes with our realtor anymore.  My brain flip flops between let's call it off and live here vs. we need to find a bigger space, let's just keep waiting for things to happen.  Granted, we have started math and spelling, so it's not like we're not getting anything done.  Our curriculum is 34-weeks, and the further I push it back... the more we'll be behind.  Then, my brain is all "you won't be behind, you set your own schedule, plus Preston is actually ahead of his age anyway, chill out."  Oh, Brain... give me a break, will ya?  Why you gotta be all wishy-washy, huh?

So, then I start thinking, well, if we aren't moving...I can move the boys into the same room and use Callen's small room for a school room, set up the new desks we have in the garage for them in there, bring in the bookcases and get this ball rolling.  And, hey, even if we are leaving our house on the market, it'll still be fine to do that... it'll just make Preston's room look a bit more cluttered.  I just have this deep desire to have an area where we can set up school.  BUT, didn't I just reassure that sweet lady in the fb group that you don't NEED a school area?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  And, honestly, I don't know how good of an idea it is to put my boys in one room at this point.  Callen still destroys Preston's room on a regular basis when he gets in there.  The bunk bed we have in storage is gonna take up a lot of space... and which of the boys will be the first to fall off of it?  Indecisive Brain, you are killing me!  I want this.  Or that.  And maybe this.  But that isn't a good idea, so... this?  That?  The other thing?  Arghhhh.

If I don't set up a school area, we can still school, dang it. We can, we can, WE CAN!  So, I THINK I have decided to get our school stuff ready, put it in a crate - something that can be hidden away when needed - and just go with the flow.  No, I can't put up stuff on the walls as I like to.  We still can't use the desks I bought from my friend.  It will take more effort to get things out and put things up constantly.  But... if I don't officially start our school year soon, I'm gonna explode!  Ka-freaking-boom! So, I'm thinking we'll start up in a few weeks (the week after Labor Day?) and see what happens.

Meanwhile, still praying like a crazy woman that we get a buyer, for our full price so our math works out, and that we find our new home quickly and easily, the move is smooth, and we live happily ever after.  I do want to move into a new-to-us home, something that has more space (and yes, a stinkin' homeschool area, of course) and more yard to enjoy.  But, if we end up here, and that's God's will for us, then fine.  I just... would like to be out of this not-knowing phase already.

On heavy repeat in my mind...
Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps."

1 comment:

Jill said...

I feel for ya! Praying with you guys . . .