I got called a dude today. Ok, she didn't use that word exactly. Here's what happened...
Preston, Callen and I were shopping for groceries at Aldi. Callen was in his sling on me, and Preston was sitting in the front part of the cart, helping me get the items loaded onto the checkout belt. I was trying to get stuff up there as fast as I could with one hand (the other hand was holding Callen in as I bent over to grab things, 'cause he was wiggling around, trying to escape any way he could) all the while trying to get Preston to stop putting the heavy jars and cans on top of things like veggies and bread. A little, old lady came up behind us in line and smiled at Preston, who was closest to her.
"Are you helping your daddy out with the groceries?" she asked sweetly.
"Umm, that's my mommy!" Preston answered, though the woman obviously did not hear him. I just kinda smiled and kept piling groceries up.
She spoke again, "Are you a big helper for your daddy? I bet he really appreciates that." This time I looked up at her very directly, and gave her a nervous, little chuckle and said "Yeah, he's a big help." Once again, I don't think she heard, or it didn't register. Preston just looked at her.
She came around to the side of my cart and asked "Do you think your daddy would mind if I helped you out?" She looked at me and asked, "Do you mind? I can help you out here."
This time I spoke clearly and directly to her, "Oh, that would be fine with me, thank you for the help!" THIS TIME SHE GOT IT!
"OH!," she said, "You're the mother! I'm so sorry. I just... the hair, I couldn't tell. I should have known because you were carrying the baby like that."
I finally got the groceries piled up on the belt (yeah, this was a big shopping trip) and while the guy was checking out the items, I pulled out a card I recently made with the Shear Hope website on it. I turned to her and said, "Here's a card with a website you can check out, it'll explain why my hair is so short, because I shaved it for a cause."
"Oh, no thanks, I don't plan on cutting my hair," she answered. Wow.
"No, no, I wouldn't ask you to do that. It just explains why I did. I shaved it for...," I tried.
She didn't want to take the card. "Oh uh... I already have a hairdresser, thanks."
I kinda persisted, "No ma'am, this is about the Cancer Ministry I shaved my head for."
"Oh, I see. That's... nice." She said some other stuff about her daughter-in-law helping to organize a walk against Cancer, and by this time I had paid and was through the checkout.
"Umm, that's my mommy!" Preston answered, though the woman obviously did not hear him. I just kinda smiled and kept piling groceries up.
She spoke again, "Are you a big helper for your daddy? I bet he really appreciates that." This time I looked up at her very directly, and gave her a nervous, little chuckle and said "Yeah, he's a big help." Once again, I don't think she heard, or it didn't register. Preston just looked at her.
She came around to the side of my cart and asked "Do you think your daddy would mind if I helped you out?" She looked at me and asked, "Do you mind? I can help you out here."
This time I spoke clearly and directly to her, "Oh, that would be fine with me, thank you for the help!" THIS TIME SHE GOT IT!
"OH!," she said, "You're the mother! I'm so sorry. I just... the hair, I couldn't tell. I should have known because you were carrying the baby like that."
I finally got the groceries piled up on the belt (yeah, this was a big shopping trip) and while the guy was checking out the items, I pulled out a card I recently made with the Shear Hope website on it. I turned to her and said, "Here's a card with a website you can check out, it'll explain why my hair is so short, because I shaved it for a cause."
"Oh, no thanks, I don't plan on cutting my hair," she answered. Wow.
"No, no, I wouldn't ask you to do that. It just explains why I did. I shaved it for...," I tried.
She didn't want to take the card. "Oh uh... I already have a hairdresser, thanks."
I kinda persisted, "No ma'am, this is about the Cancer Ministry I shaved my head for."
"Oh, I see. That's... nice." She said some other stuff about her daughter-in-law helping to organize a walk against Cancer, and by this time I had paid and was through the checkout.
I can't really blame her for thinking I was a dude. When I got home, I looked at myself in the mirror.
I did look pretty dude-ish today. No makeup, no jewelry, dark colored shirt, the baby was in the sling in front of me so she couldn't tell I was a woman. I wasn't greatly offended or anything, kind of expect that sort of stuff to happen. Especially now that my hair is growing out and I can't really do much with it to make it look any different. The same thing happened the first time I shaved my head for Shear Hope. A guy came into the office, I had my back to him, and he said "Excuse me, sir." Then I got up and turned around, with my preggo belly and all and he was like "Oh, sorry about that!" Haha.
It gets better...
One thing about Aldi is that you sack your own groceries after you check out, and since I had soooo many groceries it took me a while (again with one hand 'cause Callen was being so fiesty!). So, she came back by me and apologized again for mistaking me for a man. She also said, "Can I help you? I just feel for moms who are out here with their little kids in the heat and all trying to get all this done. It's hard." I declined her offer this time because I was nearly done anyway. Somehow, as we were both sacking our own groceries next to each other, it came up that her husband used to work nites and I told her mine currently does and how we get outta the house so he can sleep. She asked if Preston would be starting school soon. I told her we were going to start homeschooling. Again, she had a surprised look. Then she said "Well, you must be Christian then... it's usually Christians who homeschool their kids." I just laughed to myself, 'cause, man, this lady was a real piece of work... no political correctness for her! Haha. "Well, yes we are Christian," I answered. Honestly, it was a pretty hilarious encounter, definitely made the shopping trip a bit of an adventure.
Also, this is why shaving my head for Shear Hope has been so awesome, so eye-opening. I thought it was funny, and I wasn't offended at all. But a lot of women who have lost their hair because of chemotherapy or alopecia deal with this kind of stuff every day! They're run down from all the medications, treatments, etc., just trying to get through their day and the last thing they want is for someone to call them a man!
One thing about Aldi is that you sack your own groceries after you check out, and since I had soooo many groceries it took me a while (again with one hand 'cause Callen was being so fiesty!). So, she came back by me and apologized again for mistaking me for a man. She also said, "Can I help you? I just feel for moms who are out here with their little kids in the heat and all trying to get all this done. It's hard." I declined her offer this time because I was nearly done anyway. Somehow, as we were both sacking our own groceries next to each other, it came up that her husband used to work nites and I told her mine currently does and how we get outta the house so he can sleep. She asked if Preston would be starting school soon. I told her we were going to start homeschooling. Again, she had a surprised look. Then she said "Well, you must be Christian then... it's usually Christians who homeschool their kids." I just laughed to myself, 'cause, man, this lady was a real piece of work... no political correctness for her! Haha. "Well, yes we are Christian," I answered. Honestly, it was a pretty hilarious encounter, definitely made the shopping trip a bit of an adventure.
Also, this is why shaving my head for Shear Hope has been so awesome, so eye-opening. I thought it was funny, and I wasn't offended at all. But a lot of women who have lost their hair because of chemotherapy or alopecia deal with this kind of stuff every day! They're run down from all the medications, treatments, etc., just trying to get through their day and the last thing they want is for someone to call them a man!
