Convicted Myself About School (and I'm a little crazy)...

So, yesterday someone on one of the facebook homeschool groups I participate in posted something about feeling like a bad mom because she's disorganized and doesn't have a homeschool area for her kids.  I immediately jumped in and encouraged her that homeschooling is not about having a classroom, or even a designated area, that you set up to work in.  You school in your home, or in the car, or at the park, etc.  I said some other stuff, too.  I hope that my comments helped her to realize that her homeschool doesn't have to look like those pinterest-perfect homeschool rooms we drool over with awesome desks, shelves of bookshelves and organizing bins, supplies all neatly arranged.  Even if it didn't, it convicted me, that's for sure.  Oh my gosh, y'all, I drool over those dang magazine-looking homeschool rooms I see.  Such jealousy, you have no idea.

I have been struggling with not starting school yet, saying that we would start once we were settled into our new home.  Well, here we are... no where near ready to move.  We had that buyer who backed out, and we've had several offers that were unacceptably low... our house has been on the market over 95 days now (but, um.. who's counting?) and we aren't even going out to look at homes with our realtor anymore.  My brain flip flops between let's call it off and live here vs. we need to find a bigger space, let's just keep waiting for things to happen.  Granted, we have started math and spelling, so it's not like we're not getting anything done.  Our curriculum is 34-weeks, and the further I push it back... the more we'll be behind.  Then, my brain is all "you won't be behind, you set your own schedule, plus Preston is actually ahead of his age anyway, chill out."  Oh, Brain... give me a break, will ya?  Why you gotta be all wishy-washy, huh?

So, then I start thinking, well, if we aren't moving...I can move the boys into the same room and use Callen's small room for a school room, set up the new desks we have in the garage for them in there, bring in the bookcases and get this ball rolling.  And, hey, even if we are leaving our house on the market, it'll still be fine to do that... it'll just make Preston's room look a bit more cluttered.  I just have this deep desire to have an area where we can set up school.  BUT, didn't I just reassure that sweet lady in the fb group that you don't NEED a school area?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  And, honestly, I don't know how good of an idea it is to put my boys in one room at this point.  Callen still destroys Preston's room on a regular basis when he gets in there.  The bunk bed we have in storage is gonna take up a lot of space... and which of the boys will be the first to fall off of it?  Indecisive Brain, you are killing me!  I want this.  Or that.  And maybe this.  But that isn't a good idea, so... this?  That?  The other thing?  Arghhhh.

If I don't set up a school area, we can still school, dang it. We can, we can, WE CAN!  So, I THINK I have decided to get our school stuff ready, put it in a crate - something that can be hidden away when needed - and just go with the flow.  No, I can't put up stuff on the walls as I like to.  We still can't use the desks I bought from my friend.  It will take more effort to get things out and put things up constantly.  But... if I don't officially start our school year soon, I'm gonna explode!  Ka-freaking-boom! So, I'm thinking we'll start up in a few weeks (the week after Labor Day?) and see what happens.

Meanwhile, still praying like a crazy woman that we get a buyer, for our full price so our math works out, and that we find our new home quickly and easily, the move is smooth, and we live happily ever after.  I do want to move into a new-to-us home, something that has more space (and yes, a stinkin' homeschool area, of course) and more yard to enjoy.  But, if we end up here, and that's God's will for us, then fine.  I just... would like to be out of this not-knowing phase already.

On heavy repeat in my mind...

Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps."

God Will Make a Way

I will be completely honest, not a big fan of Rick Warren... but that doesn't mean God isn't using him.  He certainly is.  The following devotional was posted on his blog yesterday and a friend of mine forwarded it to me.  Timely?  Of course!  God knows.  He always knows...

 

Don’t See How? God Will Make a Way

by Rick Warren

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

You may be facing a dead end right now — financial, emotional, or relational — but if you will trust God and keep on moving in faith, even when you don’t see a way, he will make a way. 

It will become more understandable as you head down the path he sets before you, but understanding is not a requirement for you to start down the path. Proverbs 4:18 says, “The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” (NIV). One day you will stand in the full light of eternity and view the big picture. You’ll see God’s purpose behind the path he specifically chose for you.  

In the meantime, do what Proverbs 3 says: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” 

Be patient. God knows what he’s doing. God knows what is best for you. He can see the end result. You can’t. All those problems, heartaches, difficulties and delays — all the things that make you ask “why” — will one day be clear in the light of God’s love.

But for now, we’re learning to trust God. 

----

And we couldn't fathom what we were going to do with the whole car situation yesterday.  The guy was talking like he wasn't going to fix the stuff they messed up.  I prayed, and prayed, and cried and asked for prayer, and got down on my face in the floor and prayed some more.  As I literally picked myself up off the floor, the phone rang... it was Michael.  He was at the car shop, and was on the way home with the car.  The FIXED car.  The guy fixed everything that was wrong, even though he still claimed they weren't responsible for some of it.  Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!  And while that doesn't bring an end to all of the woes piled on us right now, that was certainly the most pressing, the most fateful.  So, with that out of the way, I can breathe again, and realize how silly I am for even worrying at all, because God always provides.  Why can't I get my head to know what my heart knows in the midst of my panic?  Sigh.  God will make a way, where there seems to be no way!

The Story of Christmas...

Here's another video from a mixture of Christian musicians/artists, telling the story of Luke 2...

Homeschool Recap, Dec 16th (Wk 14)...

In my life this week...

Everyone in the house was sickly this week.  Not fun.  I think it was just a round of colds... lots of snot, coughing and gunky throats.  We seem to be on the mend, but there's still lots of tissue use going on 'round here.  We haven't been doing anything too exciting.  Listening to Christmas music, watching Christmas movies, and just taking it easy.

My favorite thing this week was...
Oh, before all the sickness hit, on Saturday (my birthday!), we went out to a ranch and had the best time!  The boys really enjoyed being cowboys!  We did a hayride, ate the most delicious chicken from a giant smoker, Callen got to sit on a "neigghh!".  So much fun!

My cowboys!

What's NOT working for me...

Still waiting for the part for my laptop to come in.  Hoping it'll be here soon and will be the fix for it.  If not... I don't even know.

I'm reading...
Well, besides all the Christmas books, I picked back up with Anne of Green Gables.  Well, technically, I moved on to Anne of Avonlea.  Can't wait to see what Anne gets herself into next!

I'm grateful for...
A Savior who blesses us, even when we grumble and are ungrateful!  The Lord is constantly providing for us in so many different ways.  What right have I to complain about anything?  ANYTHING?!?!?  Sometimes I'm a real jerk, even when it's just inside my own head.  Forgive me, Father, for questioning, doubting, complaining and just generally being a butt.  Amen.

Ahem, anyway...

In our homeschool this week...

Tot School:  Callen is enjoying Christmastime.  When asked what Santa says, he replies, "oh! oh! oh!"  And when I ask where Baby Jesus is, he points to our nativity scene.  He has also decided he likes the song "We Wish You A Merry Christmas," as he says 'WISSS!"  It's terribly cute!  He is about to climb out of his crib at any moment, so I am constantly on alert.  We are in the process of getting Preston a twin bed to move in to, so we can give Preston's toddler bed to Callen.  They grow up too fast!  Callen is still very interested in coloring and enjoys doing the Advent to Color every day.  Don't you dare leave him out!  Lol.  And, my goodness, does that boy love our Christmas tree...  Eep!

Come out from behind there!

Bible: Proverbs 30:5, "Every word of God is flawless; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him."  And we discussed, read and illustrated Noah and the Ark, God's promise, The Tower of Babel and started talking about Abram.  The boys had a great time trying to build their own Tall Tower with blocks.  Preston got it just as tall as he was before it toppled.

Working on our towers!

After two more blocks, it fell!

Reading/Writing: Spent time working on writing words we were reading in our Bible stories, talked about "ew" and "ea."

Math: This week's theme was charts and graphs, something Preston is very familiar with.  Did the pages in the Complete Book of Math on the subject, and continued to fill in his Weather Chart (we do a new one every month to keep track of the weather - at the end of the school year, we'll make a large chart using all the months' info!).  We also read Lemonade for Sale, which talks about graphs.

Science: This week's science them was Rainbows, which went nicely with the story of Noah and the Ark, of course.  We watched a Cat In the Hat episode about learning the order of the colors, and he already knew Roy G. Biv.  He colored in some rainbows, and we made rainbows using a glass of water and flashlight (since it was cloudy all week and we couldn't use the sun!).  We also read a cute little book called Skyfire.

Music/Art:  This week's hymn was "How Firm a Foundation", and there were many new vocabulary words in this one to learn!  He liked it, though.  We also talked about chimes/tubular bells and the xylophone.  We looked at a landscape portrait from our Come Look With Me book.  We didn't do Drawing with Children this week, we just weren't feeling up to it.  Tried to lighten the load a bit.

Spanish:  We skipped Spanish lessons this week too.  Might try to get in some review this week and next, and not introduce anything new.  He's getting a bit mixed up with the last few weeks' words.  Probably a good time for a break with this anyway.

Advent/Seasonal activity: Our first full week of doing the Names of Jesus Countdown Chain from Spell Out Loud.  Each day we take off a chain link, learn about that particular name for Jesus, color an ornament from here and put it up on our tree branch.  Preston is also doing the Advent Calendar to Color from Usborne each day as well.  Callen wanted in on the action this time around, and has lovingly scribbled his additions to the Calendar.  But that makes it all the more special.  =)

We are using My Father's World First Grade. See our curriculum here.

Blog Hoppin' with:

Countdown to Christmas - Names of Jesus Chain

Image from SpellOutLoud.com

I saw this post over at Spell Out Loud and fell in love with the Names of Jesus Advent Chain.  Last year, counting down to Christmas, we did the Jesse Tree from A Holy Experience and it was a neat experience, but Preston was too young to really get all the information, I think.  He lost interest just a little ways into it.  I want to do something simpler this year, and when I saw the name chain... I knew it would be perfect.  Nothing that required too much work, but gave us a moment to pause and focus on Jesus!  I have printed out the chain links, will be cutting them out and linking them together in a long chain and putting them up somewhere near our "classroom" (aka kitchen table) tomorrow.  Every day in December we'll take a link off so that the chain is getting smaller as we get closer to Christmas. I like that on each of the links there is a Bible verse to go with the name, so we can look it up and read about it!  In addition to the chain, as suggested by Spell Out Loud, I have printed out these Names of Jesus Ornaments.  I did the Black & White versions so Preston can color them and make them his own!  We'll be putting these UP as the chain links come DOWN!  All in anticipation of Jesus' Birthday!

I checked out and purchased the Truth in Tinsel eBook that I saw all of my bloggy friends raving about.  See Mama Jenn's post and printables for it here.  It is adorable and I am really looking forward to going through it with my boys at some point.  However, I don't think it's right for us this year.  I want something super simple and that doesn't require a lot of extra time or materials.  I think I will wait to do it next year when Callen is a bit older and will be able to take part in some of it.  After looking through it, though, I wish I was able to do it this year 'cause it looks SO fun!  I'm sure it will be equally as fun next year.  You can't do everything at the same time, right?

I'm pretty excited for December 1st to arrive so we can start our countdown and name study.  I love using this time to focus on Jesus, the real Reason for the Season.

Homeschool Recap, Oct 21st (Wk 7)

In my life this week...
Another week completely flew by.  We had to take the Chevy Traverse back on Wednesday, and let me know tell you... that thing spoiled me!  Being car-less again sucks!  Other than that, we've been enjoying watching our Texas Rangers play in the World Series.  So glad that they pulled out a win last nite, wheeewwww!  Now they can bring it home and win the Series!!!  This weekend, I have a multi-vendor open house with a friend from high school.  Should be a lot of fun!  I am excited about my Usborne business this month, things have been going smoothly.  Praise God!

What's not working for us...
Me being lazy.  I allowed us to sleep in this whole week, which threw us all off.  I had been trying to get up when Michael leaves, around 6:15... that way I get time to myself, shower, etcl, before I get the boys up (or they wake up by themselves).  I got up, but went back to bed every day this week, and slept til after 8 or even 9 today!  Then I'm not one step ahead of the boys, they end up watching cartoons while I'm trying to get myself together and their attitudes are off for the rest of the day.  TV in the morning is not usually a good idea around here - it gets Preston rowdy and then he doesn't want to do anything else.

I'm cooking...
Michael helped me make pumpkin pancakes this week for dinner, and they were delicious!  It made a huge batch, so the boys and I had it for dinner another nite too and they were good reheated as well!  I also made the boys and I some pumpkin pie shakes, which came out great.  And on Sunday I'll be making some pumpkin muffins.  'Tis the season for PUMPKIN!!!

My favorite thing this week...

I got to have a date nite with my husband!  Woo hoo!  We had a Living Social coupon for this place Italian place in Arlington, got Grandma Jill to watch the boys and got to just enjoy a few hours of time together.  It was nice... and missed!  Oh, and the weather was absolutely perfect this week!

In our homeschool this week...
Tot school:  Callen learned to climb out of his playpen.  D'oh!  So much for keeping him contained at times!

Playing in his room

Bible:  Our weekly scripture was Proverbs 29:11 "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."  Preston is doing a great job remembering this verses... better than me, that's for sure!  Yikes!  We also drew a Bible Lands Map and talked about that area.

Reading/Writing: Worked on 'oo,' 'th,' 'ar,' and 'or.'  Preston read a Toot & Puddle book on his own.  We are doing the Braums Book Buddy, Book It! and the Six Flags Read to Succeed Program, so he's excited about reading on his own again to win prizes.  Whatever it takes!

'ar' as in car

Math: Shapes were the theme this week.  Preston looked at me like I was crazy, this is stuff he's known since he was 2.  But, whatever.  We read some fun books from the library showing us shapes in nature and in every day scenes.  Used our pattern blocks and peg board to create shapes of all kinds.  We also had fun shouting out shapes we saw as we drove around the first part of this week.  Lol.

peg board fun

Science:  The theme this week was "thunder and lightning," and God totally provided us with a thunderstorm earlier this week too.  Was nice to have that as a reference before we started talking about electricity build up and all that.  Read several books on weather - including ones with Clifford and Franklin!

Art/Music: We started a new hymn this week from Hymns for a Kid's Heart, "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God."  Listened to it, talked about it's author.  We also listened to music from an oboe.  We looked at a landscape painting of The Oregon Trail.  And using Drawing With Children, Preston drew some little figures and a bird!

bird and drawings

Spanish:  Still working on colors.  He's got 'em down pretty well now! 

Some of the books we used this week in addition to our curriculum...


We are using My Father's World First Grade. See our curriculum here.

Blog Hoppin' with:

Homeschool Recap, Oct 7th (Week 5)

In my life this week...
The downside - I tweaked my neck and had to visit the chiropractor a couple of times this week.  It's doing much better than that first day, but I'm still a bit sore.  The upside - I got a new car!  Kind of.  For 2 weeks.  But it's sweet!  I'm working with The North Texas Chevy Dealers on a blogging campaign and test driving the Chevy Traverse.  We got to go to the State Fair of Texas to pick it up on Wednesday.  I can't wait to tell you (and show you!) all about my ride!  So, with a car I've been able to get around and do things - oh, how nice it is!  Lol. 

That one is mine!

Places we're going and people we're seeing...
The State Fair of Texas was fun.  We ate some deep fried pineapple upside down cake, a Belgian waffle, some foot-long corn dogs and a ton of random samples as well.  Mmm. Preston did a funhouse maze thing and went on the log ride.  The boys spent some time with both of their grandmas in the same day on Thursday since I had chiropractor appointment in the morning and then an Usborne book party with our homeschool group that evening.  And today we're going to have lunch with our friend Candi and her family!

Praying for...
Complete healing of my neck.  Complete healing of Michael's various issues.  Complete healing of Preston's allergies lately.  We love Fall, the allergies are pretty much the only thing that brings us down this time of year.

In our homeschool this week...
Our homeschooling was pretty erratic this week.  I don't think we stuck our "normal" schedule on any of the days.  But we still got everything done, so that's nice!

Tot school:  Callen has really been enjoying Preston's Melissa & Doug mailbox lately.  Guess it's time to move it to his room permanently since he always ventures in to Preston's to find it.

Bible:  Read everyday from the Hands-On Bible.  Also discussed how there were several authors of the Bible, but only ONE real author.  Our memory scripture was Proverbs 21:23 "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity."  Oh, if more of us could remember that one!  =/

Reading/Writing: Started on long vowel sounds and writing sentences in the Animal Tales booklet.

Checking out new reading set!

Math: Still focusing on counting this week, mostly skip counting 2's, 5's and 10's.  Read several fun math/counting books from the library (see below).

Science: Our theme was Trees.  We got outside and Preston did some bark rubbings of our two different kinds of trees ("bumpy" bark and "smooth" bark).  We also read a bunch of tree books, including the beautiful book from Usborne, appropriately titled Trees.  Hehe.  Preston drew a fun illustration of a tree with lots of holes for squirrels.  Then he added a stoplight in the middle of the tree because "with that many squirrels, there's probably lots of traffic in that tree!"  (Love his creative brain!!!)

Art/Music:  We looked at a landscape painting from Come Look With Me. Talked about clarinet and bass clarinet, listened to examples from youtube. In our drawing lesson, I made a bunch of duplication and matching images for Preston to do, and let him do a couple for me.  The mirrored images were a little too difficult for him at this point, he tried though!  And we went over our first hymn in Hymns for a Kid's Heart!  "Holy! Holy! Holy!"  We talked about the man who wrote the hymn, some of the words in the hymn that were new to Preston (like cherubim and seraphim), and listened to it several times.

Duplicating basic pictures.

Listening to Holy! Holy! Holy!

Spanish: Started talking about the Spanish alphabet. The concept is a little confusing for Preston, so I didn't push too much (ok, well, initially I tried to get him to "get" it, but then realized he wasn't and backed off).  The next several things in the workbook are learning parts of speech and some things that I don't think he's ready for, so we're going to skip around and cover things like colors or something for a while.

Some of the books we used this week in addition to our curriculum:

We are using My Father's World First Grade. See our curriculum here.

Blog Hoppin' with:


*The Chevy Traverse campaign is being sponsored by the North Texas Chevy dealers. They are letting me test drive a Traverse for two weeks as well as providing me with a gas card and a spa gift card.

Sometimes I Suck As A Parent...

This morning was bad.  I mean, plain awful.  I'd be embarrassed to admit what all went on and how bad my temper got.  Let's just say when you get to the point of taking your child's mattress away as a punishment, something isn't going right.  Preston refused to cooperate with school, I pushed too hard... we both snapped.  I'm ashamed of myself for letting it escalate as it did.  And I was so disappointed and hurt to have him act that way towards me.  It stopped being about the lesson instantly, and became a duel about behavior.  He was downright defiant, disrespectful and disobedient.  I tried to make him understand that I'm the boss.  I failed.  But I can't blame him completely.  He's not quite 5 (just shy two days), and maybe I'm asking too much of him at times.  I haven't achieved the correct balance.  Some days are great.  We get along, have fun, smile, laugh, play and sail through school time.  Other times we hit some bumps in the road, take a break, get over it and carry on.  Occasionally we come to a stand still and one of us eventually has to give in.  This morning neither of us caved when we should.  Michael had to referee.

I'm still new at this.  I have to admit that sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.  Not just the school thing, the mom thing.  I've never had an almost-5-year-old before.  I don't know why ground rules we set aren't working with him.  Are we doing it all wrong?  Are we not taking the right approach?  How do you get through to a kid that you are in charge and what you say goes?  I mean, it seems like it would be obvious.  But, it's not.  I know I'm not alone, probably every set of parents goes through this.  I just don't know why he doesn't get it.  You obey your parents.  The end.  What's confusing about that?

Earlier I asked him "Why do you do things you know to be bad?"  His response was, "I don't know."  And as I sat there feeling angry, sad, confused, hurt that he couldn't just "be good!"... I thought about how I do things I don't want to do all the time, things I know are wrong or "bad."  How can I be so angry at him, when I am the same way?!?  God must feel the way I feel constantly.  His children are so disobedient, so disrespectful.  I thought about what Paul wrote to the Romans:

¹⁴ So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7: 14-25 NLT)

I am not alone in this struggle.  Preston is not alone in this struggle.  These struggles have been around since the Garden.  We are sinners, and we do bad things.  I have to remember that and not hold it against my child!  I do, however, have to continue to teach him to TRY to be good, to TRY to be respectful and obedient.  I also have to lead by example.  Our study on the Fruits of the Spirit also hit me hard.  I need to work on ALL of them, especially patience... especially patience when it comes to Preston.  But I could definitely use work on my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  As a parent, all I can do is be there for my child, show him love and guidance, point him towards Jesus and pray that we can make it through each new phase unscathed.  It would be nice if he was more obedient, though.  But I suppose that comes with maturity... if I do my job right.

[I know that some people won't think it's fair for me to write about how terrible Preston's behavior is.  He's obviously  not always like this, he's often the sweetest boy you could ever imagine.  He's also incredibly intelligent.  And, hey, I admitted how awful I acted as well!  I think it's good to have a record of what goes on in our day-to-day lives so that we can someday look back at times like this and know that we've come a long way.  I think we all struggle.  Some people hide it better than others.  I don't want to be fake or pretend I have it all together.  If you know me, you know I am far from all-together.  So, don't think I'm mean for advertising my child's bad behavior to the world.  I'm just being real.]

James 1...

Faith and Endurance

 ² Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
 ⁵ If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ⁶ But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
 ⁹ Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. ¹⁰ And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field. ¹¹ The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.
 ¹² God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. ¹³ And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. ¹⁴ Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. ¹⁵ These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
 ¹⁶ So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. ¹⁸ He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.